yay i m done!!!!!nd i m a doctor now!!!!!..and i m back home... its alright.... i m just not used to it.. cant wait to start work....
wow i cut myself off for like 2months and seems lke the world has changed... i dont even know where to start ..the mumbai attack happened...barack obama got elected...the economic depression....and now the war rhetoric... i feel like the world was a better place three months ago :-( i have a friend whose mother was at the taj the night of the terrorist attack... and this was right in the middle of our exams.... she was one of the lucky few.but to really experience wat a family member goes through affected me alot.my firend stayed up all night watchin the news,switching from one channel to another for any bit of useful information.i was sittin with her,and all they kept showing for hours were cameras following blood drops at leopold cafe,or on the streets,bodies being carried out of the hotel.i dont blame them i guess,thats news too but it is soo painful and scary to watch for a family member who is prayin for their loved ones safety.i m so glad her mother came out safe the next morning.

i feel like we as the upper middle class society live in a bubble... we all watch the news,it disturbs us.we pray the world wasn't so dangerous,but thats bout it.i dont think any of us ever think that these things will happen to us.we think it only happens to other ppl.a bomb blast in a crowded market that killed a 100vendors or a terrorist attack on parliament.but to think me or my family could be havin dinner at a restaurant and somebody walks in with an ak47 and kills us,is so scary.i know no religion or faith could support such a barabaric attack on ny human being.what makes these ppl do these things??what kind of brain wash convinces a human being to mass murder unsuspecting beings irrespective of their religion or caste or nationality.DO WE ALL HAVE IT IN US???do u think u and me could also be so disturbed by some experiences??!!! do u think our lives and those of the ppl we affect can ever cease to be important to us???!!! WAT MAKES THESE PPL DO THESE THINGS???it was apparently an honour to get selected to carry out this barbaric attack in mumbai,as told by the surviving terrorist to the police..HOW???!!why???WHY IS IT AN HONOUR TO KILL OTHERS???they did it to scare us.the cowards put bombs on bicycles in dustbins ,in children's parks..we didn't budge.they failed to scare us.so they decided to come to our homes,our day to day life.... come face to face and kill us ...but guess what they are still cowards... u brain wash young teenagers..tempt them,lie to them,make false promises and put evil thoughts in their minds.. THAT STILL MAKES U A BLOODY COWARD!!!!!u did not scare me or my country.our life will move on despite the scars.

things i shud do

STRESS STRESS STRESS.... exams suck... i dont know about anyone else but in medical college they really wanna test the limit of the human mind... it is obviously not possible for people to know all that stuff in these huge textbooks and be able to impress an examiner in a half hour viva:-( ..nywayz THIS TOO SHALL PASS .
i have had a lot of free time on my hands lately to think and i cant wait for my exams to get over,so i decided to compile a list of all the fun things i wanna do.. i feel like the stress this year has made me socially challenged in many ways..i missed out on so many things-great books, good movies...plays..etc.i started first with writing down the 'books i should have read by now' list and i cant wait to read them. so here's my list so far-(tell me if i missed out on any other great read)
1.the harry potter series - yea shame on me right!! i have only read 4..
2.shantaram
3.freakonomics
4.atlas shrugged-i read 3/4th and then reread that part coz i loved it,but never finished it
5.the great indian novel
6.god delusions
7.god of small things
8.homer's odyssey
9.the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy-i have the jumbo novel,its my favourite time pass book.besides it'll be a breather in between the serious ones .
k so thats that.... yes i think it'll take me a while to finish all these ..but yay cant wait .
my list like all good resolution lists,has lots of other things ...like joining a fun exercise class.i hear they have kick boxing classes in delhi.sounds like fun:-) .
i m moving back home after exams....i mean family and home food sounds nice but i m am kinda scared.i have lived away from home for a while now and its different when u live on your own with friends.the generation gap only seems to get bigger as u get older.i m just praying for 'no wars and world peace'..lol. .
k till next time

the day OBSTETRICS bullied PAEDIATRICS

ok... so today was really amusing.. lemme give u a lill background... i m a final year medical student now,and u could say the lowest in the social hierarchy of a medical college,though i insist i felt like that every year:-/... but this year has to be the worst, especially since my exams are in december... literally, like everybody in the various departments(we are takin exams in) is more imp than us,and i mean even the cleaning staff.. god knows who might get pissed and say sumthin mean about u in front of the examiner ...lol.that can make alll the difference,that and some knowledge ofcourse;-)...I know sounds crazy but dude who wants to take the risk!?..Nywayz so as i was saying, we are prettty much nobodys and treated as such, pretty much all of the time:-/..
I m posted in the department of paediatrics these days.being posted means we go to the paediatric wards during the day,observe and examine various paediatric patients and their respective doctors discuss the treatment and all with us.nywayz so in our hospital we have only one paediatric ward..which also doubles up as the POST-NATAL ward...for obvious reasons,still for the unaware- post natal aka 'after birth'..and since usually kids are only born;-) they automatically become paediatric candidates..its all a big medical conspiracy ...lol.lol...
nywayz so our ward has only one class room... today 25 of us were sitting in the class room,all busy readin for an upcoming test..when suddenly an OBSTETRICS proff comes and starts yelling at us...yes in a medical college even 21yr olds get yelled at!!!he yelled at us,for aparently, we were cluttering his classroom and before we knew it,we were sent out!He wanted to take class for 4 second year students!!!!!!!!we all got really mad,and figured we must complain,we figured no PAEDIATRICIAN would take his students getting yelled at by an OGICIAN...obviously in vain,coz our prof didn't seem to care.And even after the class room got empty our teacher insisted we not occupy it,incase they wanna come back with more students!!!!!wtf?!?!so while four second years,two of them asleep and two of them dreaming,sat in a comfortable classroom,obviously not listening..25 final year students were standing nearby around an empty bed frantically taking notes,pushing each other,hoping to catch every word..
I have resigned to my fate:-)...i have heard once you become an intern they upgrade you to ward boy/girl status:-) cant wait :-S
till next time

sinful sundays

i like this sunday..... i m in my room eating pizza..just finished watchin a movie and now readin the sunday paper..i love the sunday paper .the times of india usually has a whole lotta time pass nonsense.... today's magazine cover story is on mistresses..hmm interesting... i just finished watchin 'one flew over the cuckoo's nest' ..hmmmm i hear its a classic... its alright... i mean its a whole lotta crazy ppl doing a whole lotta crazy things... and jack nicholsan did a brilliant job,but then u kinda expect that of him!so no surprises....i wouldn't call it a watse of time ,its just an alright movie.....
i saw 'rock on' omg farhan akhtar is so hot!i loved the music too..and i m not gonna download it ,i will buy the cd instead,i feel like i owe it to them coz they did a good job..and also coz they asked us to, at the end of the movie...lol...i m just a gullible sucker like that!!!!lol
i m going for it again monday.. no its not coz i want to.. i hate watching movies again... i dont get the point of seeing somethin u have seen already again...coz isn't there like sooo much more to see!!! nywayz yeah its a friend's bday thing so i m gonnna go anyway....
hmm k so i m in a dilemna of sorts for the past few days... i m just gonna spell it out here and see if i can make sense of things.. ok so A(female) met B(male) at a party..they kinda clicked,had fun dancing and everything.... so B got A's phone no. and stuff and u know kept in touch and was very interested in meetin next weekend.. they met with friends ,hung out,it seemed like they both had fun.k so now the twist...but basicaly B is always in in this on and off relationship with his ex gf:-/ ..... and so a few days after they met B did not call or nything but was see hangin out with his ex.k so that would be that..except the next day he calls A to explain about why he was out with her and stuff since he was spotted by A's friend.nywayz A kinda likes him,but i donnno wat to tell her,boys are so freakin complicated,such mixed signals..pooor girl..... i donnno its all gettin a lill to messy..
forget it.i m dropping the rest of the story... makin me nauseous to think wat a royal waste of time and net space it is ,writing this out
nywayz thats bout it
i have a test tmw...should hit the books sometime soon
till next time
garima

hot and cold

yesterday a friend of mine was teasing me about how i am always acting so HOT ND COLD with boys i might like,as in i am really sweet sometimes and then at others, i start acting like i couldn't care less....nywayz that got me thinkin about how in a way, borrowing a li'll from the concept of salman rushdie's midnight's children...i had a saleem sinai(the protagonist)moment,as in i feel like INDIA as a country is pretty HOT AND COLD too.k let me elaborate..i opened the mornin paper yesterday and whoa ..it was the attack of the gold..four pages about ABHINAV BINDRA,the guy who won the gold...infact 'times of india' had a gold medal instead of an 'o' on the front page,whoever wrote the article seemed so excited,he has mentioned the word gold like a 100 times,described it like one of those unreal grand hindi movie moments... nywayz dude let me clarify its not like i m not proud... i m just as proud,if not more than the next guy doing bhangra infront of his tv..
but its just that, i feel like, we as a country also, have such transiet yet extreme emotions.. one minute somebody is almost unreal,too good to be true,the answer to all of india's problems,godly(literally..since i m sure wait a few days ,and the poor dude will have a temple or sumthin built for him) and the next,the moment they screw up, we drop them like a hot potato... we criticise,we bitch,and some of us even go the extent of physically harming them and even their families.its funny, we seem to justify it saying..'well we treated them so well earlier so how dare they screw up now'.i think our athletes or nybody for that matter would be just fine ,with just a li less excitement,a lill more respect and maybe also a longer memory.
so well,for my part, i can just promise myelf that even though i wont be part of any bhangra,dhols,cheering or dancing, to celebrate his achievement..but any time(lets hope never)if he is ever havin a rough patch in his career or somthin and ppl just seem to be givin up on him,i will remember the day he made it possible for our national anthem to be played on possibly the world's biggest stage,and wish him luck instead.
nyways for now yay I AM SO PROUD.
till next time
ps-i started playing sudoku,yeah yeah i know that was the craze like last century or sumthin,anyways i love it and i m gettin better everyday...today i solved it in like half an hour:-D yay

my day

so today was a usual day in my life....here goes
found out yesterday,that i had a symposium in surgery to prepare for.kept obsessing about it while wasting time chattin and what not, yesterday...and so i woke up at 5am in the mornin..only to realise i fell asleep without opening my book :-( .. well then i kinda got my act together and prepared sumthin in between class....nd then it went ok.... except for just one thing:-P
i was sooo flustered.why does god have to make CUTE surgeons!!!i mean can life get any worst!?! not only was i not very well prepared,their was a CUTE surgeon sitting and listenin to it,nd he happens to be really smart tooo... RARE INDEED!nywayz so i think i was blushing,nd nervous,nd hyper all at the same time.... lol as i said one of my usual days!!!

oh yeah nd then a friend who left for home had these itc discount coupons....50% off on food at any itc hotel,last date was today....would i ever miss that!?!so me nd my friend rushed straight after class... acted like such sideys...lol....we kept askin after placing each order if its on discount....lol.... hey dont judge me...i dont make money,nd i m startin to wonder if i ever will:-/.yummy food.i dont think we even looked up or spoke to each other when the food came:-)

oh yeah and on the way there,me nd my friend took an auto(refer ,i dont make money part ;-P) nd we were doing some money exchange when a rs.500 note flew outta my hand... and so i started screaming frantically,telling the auto guy to stop nd help me get the money(plz note i m kinda hyper when under stress) .k so on a highway,under heavy traffic... flew my note without a care in the world,and ran my auto driver and i ran after him(just in case) for about 20 meters ... mind u i didnt think their was nythin wrong, untill i saw an old lady on the side of the road who saw what happened pointing at me,rolling her eyes,slappin her forehead(u know the way you do ,when u r wondering, why ppl are so stupid!?!)and shouting sumthin in tamil,i m thinkin she wasn't too impressed with my mental abilities .... i tell u its times like these i m glad i dont understand the language:-)maybe she liked my hair or sumthin :-D.... yea so i got the money back..and my friend has aother funny story of me to tell everyone she meets.i'll tel u the others some other time:-)
till next time

Blow Blow thou winter wind

Blow,Blow thou winter wind – William Shakespeare

Blow, blow, thou winter wind,
Thou art not so unkind
As man's ingratitude;
Thy tooth is not so keen
Because thou art not seen,
Although thy breath be rude.
Heigh-ho! sing heigh-ho!
unto the green holly:
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
Then, heigh-ho! the holly!
This life is most jolly.

Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,
Thou dost not bite so nigh
As benefits forgot:
Though thou the waters warp,
Thy sting is not so sharp
As friend remember'd not.
Heigh-ho! sing heigh-ho!
unto the green holly:
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:
Then, heigh-ho! the holly!
This life is most jolly.

Moral of the story-MOST FRIENDSHIP IS FEIGNING ,MOST LOVING MERE FOLLY

had a really bad day today..and Mr.Shakepeare sums up my thoughts just right.dont wanna talk about it.
till next time

PSEUDOLIBERALISM

i was talkin to two of my friends about GAY RIGHTS the other day.. and we had vastly different opinions..i mean it is one of those endless arguments..but i decided to spell it out nywayz,since my blog has become my venting machine for nowadays.basically it was both the argument and the way they chose to defend their stand,that is bothering me....
MY STAND- i feel that 1.being gay is not a crime
2.what is anybody's problem if two ppl,from whatever sex choose to spend their time together,and be happy.i mean 'live and let live' rite???!!!i know endless number of 'hetero sexual' ppl who are not happy,cant stand each other,hate each other..so isn't it nice if atleast some ppl in the world,in whatever way manage to find happiness???!!!
3.it might not be common but it cannot be unnatural....i mean nature comprises of us.and if ppl are born or develop a sexuality or sexual preferences different from us,how is it their fault???? i know how all things indian want to blame the 'westernisation' for all things new... but we have so many villages in our country with no electricity and no television and not an english speakin soul,where ppl develop different sexualities.i mean if u want statistics maybe we can look into(sadly) the same sex molestation charges from these god forsaken places,which indicates how the culprits frustration at being 'uncommon' and unaccepatable led to perversion of the mind

i know the old argument goes that men's purpose in the world is to spread their seed and women to reproduce ...but what if the purpose changed now!?!what if ,this is a kind of evolution of human purpose where the goal is self happiness and not baby producing machinery!!!maybe its even nature's or karma's or god's own method of contraception!!! what if?????!!!!!!
and these are not thoughts i m simply echoing coz alotta ppl have started talkin bout 'gay rights' nowadays,or because the 'evil westernisation';-D has made it the 'in' thing... i really do believe it... i mean we are surrounded by so many mysteries of nature,that i dont believe their can be any absolutes..certainly not constants governed by old doctrines written by even more close minded ppl thousands of years ago!!!!
THEIR ARGUMENT-
ok so yeah my friends didn't agree with any of this...and instead they believe that the only status they can give a sexuality of that kind is to call it a 'freak of nature'..when i insisted on not callin it unnatural... and they believe that like other 'freaks of natur' say mental retardation,congenital deformities..this is also one such disease that requires treatment..coz for some reason these ppl pose a threat to themselves and the society at large....

ok i m not gonna justify anythin..and since my entry into adulthood i have realised that DIFFERENT PPL HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS..and life is just much better if u realise that soon enough.. but apparently everybody does not think so. coz not only did my friend very eloquently (if i may say so) keep harping on the same thing..but got so mad at me for havin a different opinion that she called me A PSEUDOLIBERAL....gasp!!!rite?!k dont get me wrong she is a real sweet girl otherwise..but i felt so deeply injured by this attack coz its such a supercillious judgement passed on my character based on a difference of opinion!!!ppl need to lighten up a bit,huh!?nyway it made me realise,atleast for some part, what causes wars:-D lol...so i let it go,except for writing bout it on my blog several days later;-)....
oh yeah I AM NOT GAY...i just have opinions on things.......
k till next time

I hate the world today

Your so good to me, I know

But I cant change

Tried to tell you but you looked at me like maybe Im an angel underneath

Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I cried

You must have been relieved to see the softer side

I can understand how youd be so confused

I dont envy you

Im a little bit of everything

All rolled into one

Im a bitch

Im a lover

Im a child

Im a mother

Im a sinner

Im a saint

I do not feel ashamed

Im your hell

Im you dream

Im nothing in between

You know you wouldnt want it any other way

So take me as I am

This may mean youll have to be a stronger man

Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous

And Im going to extremes

Tomorrow I will change

And today wont mean a thing

Im a bitch

Im a lover

Im a child

Im a mother

Im a sinner

Im a saint

I do not feel ashamed

Im your hell

Im you dream

Im nothing in between

You know you wouldnt want it any other way

Just when you think you got me figured out

The seasons already changin

I think its cool you do whatcha do

And dont try to save me

Im a bitch(chorus)

You know you wouldnt want it any other way

Im a bitch

Im a tease

Im a goddess on my knees

When youre hurt

When you suffer

Im your angel undercover

Ive been numb

Im revived

Cant say Im not alive

You know I wouldnt want it any other way

-meredith brooks

isn't this song the best ever....its my favourite.

k didn't do much today..and sitting here writing this on a saturday night,so u know my life is not going nywhere;-D ..nywayz i was talkin to a frd of mine about Rakhi Sawant,this trashy item girl,who has surely come places..i mean she has her own talk show on an indian channel now....and i dont know i was thinkin about ,'what i think about her?'... i know i started my description callin her trashy(that cud just be coz of the cheap fashion and nasty tattoos)and i have nodded my head durin umpteen conversations where she has been judged..but i was just thinkin today,god knows wat she went through,wat kinda circumstances she saw..wat she decided to do with whatever she got.....i know but alot of other ppl go through the same thing and dont become that.but so what rite?i mean change and being different is never a bad thing normally.... k so basically ihave decided to NOT JUDGE HER.not that it makes any difference to her life or mine...but its just one of those random thoughts u have,when u have not much to do the whole day.

k dats bout it,till another 'being useless day nd havin random thoughts'!!

good nite

the hippocratic oath flawed

ok so i read the hippocratic oath today...no no its not my graduation...i just came across it somewhere.... and i dont understand how that thing is still being accepted or regarded....lol
i mean has noone from the medical proffession read it before me... ok let me point out to u some of its very basic flaws
-'i swear by apollo............and by all gods and godessess,makin them my witnesses' k i m thinkin u understand wny the last thing u want ur doctor to be doin is swearin by all gods and goddesses
-'i will not give to a woman a pessary to cause abortion' .....the vatican can rejoice,nd i know we can talk for hours bout this... but lol lets be realhem ahem oh well lets just be glad we dont take the damn thing seriously!!!
-'i will not use the knife,not even verily'.....ok so surgery is out the window!!
-'i will abstain from wrongdoin,esp from abusing the bodies of man or woman'-k i know this sounds rite.. but then doesn't this include the study of the human body using a cadaver..the most basic in the study of medicine
................... i guess we just like holdin on to the old ,we like thinkin of all old and unreal as sacred

nywayz this is just trivia i chose to impart..i have nothin much to write bout
yeah went to the photocopier today had a lot of papers to copy..like a good samaritan i let all those who came in between with small work go ahead..only to realise i had wasted an hour ,gotten annoyed and in the end had less work then all of those ppl combined...and the no. of times i cursed under my breath by the end of it ,even took away my ticket to heaven;-D ..being nice isn't really as glorious as it seems!

The new Pond's add!!!!

oh my god..what has this country come to????bad enough we have 'fair and lovely' telling us that girls in this country need a fairness cream to get marriage proposals(oh i know marriage proposals is another cncept that frustrates me!,but we'll talk bout that some other day!)

and now u have this IDIOTIC,SMALL MINDED..advertisement tellin u that all u need to get the loveof ur life back is a FAIRNESS CREAM!!!first of all u dont need him if he left u coz of the lack of a fairness cream in ur life....but considering u r fallin for this add ,my advice to u wud be like hittin my own head against a hard wall!!! i know i know this 'FAIRNESS=BEAUTIFUL" notion has been exploited and running in our country for ages..nd i m no moral police..i cant help it...

but what really frustrates me is the ppl in it....its an ex miss.world tellin u even for ppl as beautiful as her,she needs a fairness cream.....and an ex miss.india who is the supposed hottie in the series gettin mad coz her engagement ring chipped her nails!!!!!!!I MEAN ITS UNBELIEVABLE..... so they are contradicting themselves.... all the 'non fair' ones,lets call them 'UGLY' coz thats wat the company wants u to believe rite?.so ALL the 'ugly' ones really need to do in life is get FAIR=BEAUTIFUL...and all the the already 'beautiful=fair' ones are absolute vain bitches!!!so wat,are they lookin for replacements for the vain bitches???? its such a dense idotic concept....... what does love have to do with a fairness cream??????or jobs ??or marriages nyway??

listen i m no idealist or nythin... i like lookin good too..and i have ugly days too... but i would never stand for being told that i m a 'shade' darker for the job!!!???!!!!!

and then here is this smart,royal prince,well educated,a charming gentleman....who is actually part of this concept...i mean he agreed to add in an advertisement that says he is gonna pick the fairer one or the ugly duckling to swan one!!!reallly i dont think pharmaceuticals and make up companies have any souls anyways......they make their money by appealling to ur most non self respecting insecure self.... but these ppl!!!i mean priyanka chopra (ex miss world) wants to be remembered as the girl who did that add for the fairness cream..which gives in to one of indian societies most embarrassing notion!!!!!!

bored confused and outta my mind

ok so what am i doin????? really have soo much work lined up and i dont do nythin!!!! iknow alotta ppl ahve the same problem...but dude this is startin to scare me..my uselessness,considering i pride myself in being quite the DOER!!!
nywayz weekends can be so damaging sometimes..........i dont even know what i want to do and what i dont.... where the line is ..u know that line everyone keeps talkin about ,when they say 'u r crossing the line" .. i dont see no line!!!
k will pray for some sanity tmw
gnite